In October 2023 I received a fundraising pitch from the National Genealogical Society. It began:
Did you know that knowledge of our family's history could be the single most transformative gift we pass down to our children? It's often said that our past holds the key to our future. Studies, such as the one conducted by Emory University’s Dr. Marshall Duke and Dr. Robyn Fivush, have shown the profound effect of knowing family narratives on a child's emotional well-being.
When children were asked questions like, "Do you know where your grandparents grew up?" or "Do you know the story of your birth?", a pattern emerged. “The more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem [and the more successfully they believed their families functioned].” This sense of belonging to a larger story, to an ancestral tapestry, is a testament to the power of family stories.
This pitch linked to a March 2013 article in The New York Times by best-selling author Bruce Feiler, “The Stories That Bind Us” [https://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html]. I strongly encourage every SMDPA member to read it. This article describes the emotional wellbeing and resilience that children achieve through what Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush term a strong “intergenerational self” – knowing and belonging to something bigger than themselves. This knowledge and belonging derives from family stories and activities passed down to them, like heirlooms.
Interestingly, our Pilgrim ancestors are mentioned when Dr. Duke’s family used a “hokey” Thanksgiving tradition to reinforce their own family narrative and sense of core values.
The article proceeds along these lines with a challenge from Jim Collins, management expert and author of the best-selling book, Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap...And Others Don't (HarperBusiness, 2001). Collins recommends that families create a mission statement, similar to the ones companies and other organizations use to identify their core values.
Stephen Covey was an educator and author of the best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Blackstone, 1989), for which Collins wrote the forward of the 25th anniversary edition. Covey described a family mission statement as “a combined, unified expression from all family members of what your family is all about — what it is you really want to do and be — and the principles you choose to govern your family life.”
Perhaps we could all think about taking up this challenge in 2024: What is your family narrative? What are your core values? And what do you wish to pass down to future generations?
Note: For more context to this article, please see a March 2013 companion piece in HuffPost by Marshall P. Duke, Ph.D., “The Stories That Bind Us: What Are the Twenty Questions?” [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-stories-that-bind-us_b_2918975]
Best Regards,
James (Jim) Campbell SMDPA Governor [email protected]
